I remember the day I fell in love with Generation Z (Gen Z), again. I was waiting for my coffee order when the James Brown song, I Feel Good, blared through the store speakers. I watched as the Gen Z Baristas sang the lyrics to the song and did a little dance. I studied them in amazement. I complimented the Baristas about knowing the lyrics to the song. Their young faces lit up and as I left the store, the young man behind the counter wished me a good day. What impressed me the most about these young people who were probably no more than 25 or 26 years of age, is that they knew the lyrics to a song that was recorded in 1965 a long time before they chose their parents.
I love using music as a tool to connect generations. It is one of the greatest bridges that brings people together. Music transcends age, race, ethnicity, geographical boundaries, and time. Humans make a lot of assumptions about people. Every one of us has biases. I made assumptions about those young people, which is what a lot of people do. We assume that young people don’t know anything. We assume that they only like Hip Hop, texting, TikTok and YouTube. We assume that they are lazy because they don’t do things the way other generations have. We couldn’t be more wrong.
I could have walked out of the coffee shop and said nothing, but I saw the situation as an opportunity to encourage those young people to keep learning and embracing new information…information from 3 generations prior to theirs. Sensei Durand Howard, owner of Blue Life Karate in Maplewood, NJ once told me that when he sees young people, he looks them in the eyes and says, “Hello”. He acknowledges them. And this, I have learned is what all people want…to be acknowledged and respected. Similarly, all generations want to be acknowledged and respected for what they contribute or have contributed to society.
It concerns me when I hear people a certain age say that young people are not motivated. It was young people who initiated the Black Lives Matter movement, and it was a young person who took the video of the George Floyd murder not knowing that one act may traumatize her for the rest of her life. She chose courage, not laziness. If that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is. An educator once reminded me that young people need encouragement to thrive and that it is our responsibility as adults and teachers to help them develop and accomplish their vision, not to kill it. Sometimes adults forget that. Life gets in the way.
In my life coaching business, I hear a lot of negative feedback from adults a certain age, about Millennials and Gen Z. Mostly, the comments are about their lack of social skills, and their difficulty communicating both verbally and in written form. I often remind adults that there are many sides to an issue. And unfortunately, we, as the more experienced leaders are the culprits. It was us who put devices in their hands to babysit them while we took breaks, or talked with our friends on the phone, or slept.
Putting devices in the hands of young people at such an early age (as early as a few months old), for long periods of time had consequences. We couldn’t see many of those consequences at the time because there wasn’t much longitudinal research data to inform us about the future results of our actions or inactions. There was however, a 1999, 2004 and 2009 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) (Rideout, V.J., Foehr, U.G., Roberts, D.F., 2010), which measured media use amongst youth in the United States. The study was conducted with 2,000 participants in the U.S. (p. Introduction). The researchers examined the use of mobile data, online data, and television use amongst young people ages 8-18 (p. Introduction). The report was impactful for three reasons:
- The data showed that youth who spent more time with media devices, were less content and produced lower grades in school.
- The data showed that parents [or caregivers] who limited the amount of media use in the home by setting media boundaries or household rules—those youth spent less time on media devices.
- Finally, the report noted the disparities in media use in 3 areas: single parent households, by ethnicity, and in tween and teen students.
Unfortunately, by the time this useful report was released, our device practices were already ingrained in us and a lot of us became addicted to the babysitter. We would do anything we could just to get a break. Understandable…parenting, caregiving and/or teaching is hard but our actions or inaction, still had consequences. In 2010 we were warned, and we failed to protect our young people. Fast forward to the 21st Century. The overuse of media has caused many disruptions in people and society.
I recently spoke to M.J. the manager of a transportation company. He leads Millennials and Gen Z employees. M.J. is frustrated because his employees don’t know how to write a letter, spell, and punctuate. M.J. said that his expectation is that employees, like him, should have learned these skills in the educational system. The problem is parts of the educational system that helped raise M.J. no longer exist. Here is evidence. Recently, the online magazine Fast Company reported that “after 59 years”, Eddie Bauer, the clothing store had to change its logo because Gen Z doesn’t read cursive handwriting (Snelling, G. 2023, p. 1). Some educational districts in the United States began changing the practice of teaching cursive writing many years ago. This is just one example of what education looks like in the 21st Century. And then there’s the obvious of course, that people don’t have to know cursive writing anymore and/or sign their name thanks to software you can download on your phones or computers.
Some of the Millennials and most of Gen Z grew up texting, not writing letters or emails. Letter writing could be considered an art these days (it probably always has been considered an art form). When you write a letter, you express your emotions to another party, convince someone to buy a product or service, or share information. Some of the most treasured artifacts and mementoes are love letters written by people from the Baby Boomer, Silent, and G.I. generations. “Where?” I asked M.J., “Would Millennials and Gen Z have practiced that skill?” Texting doesn’t require them to write in full sentences unless they choose to, and that is a skill that must be practiced.
Which brings me to the point. How can we help young people find a good balance and thrive in the 21st Century society and workplace? First, patience is still a good virtue. We shouldn’t assume that a person knows or has everything that is required or needed to perform well in society or in the workplace. Remember what I mentioned earlier, the KFF report acknowledged that demographics could make a difference in outcomes. Practicing patience with young people affords us the opportunity to reflect and then assess how we can best help them thrive. I know this is not easy, but we must become better at this for all our sakes. Gen Z are our future teachers, filmmakers, doctors, lawyers, politicians and so forth and so on. Empathy is an important behavior and skill that is observed through our parents, and other loved ones, teachers, community leaders, etc.
Secondly, we must continue to teach and/or help young people learn, and also reinforce other skills. Unfortunately, some of that may fall on leaders in the workplace. A good place to start is the training systems within the work environment. Maybe, some businesses should include basic courses on their training rosters. For example, the ABC’s of letter writing or communication; Social Skills in the Workplace, and so forth and so on. You might be surprised to see seasoned managers as participants in those courses. If there is one take away from my years working in Human Resources, it is this, just because you’re at the leadership level doesn’t automatically mean that you write well, and/or interact well with people in your work environment.
Thirdly, if the reader is over fifty-five, we must stop comparing our youth experience to that of Gen Zs. A lot of that world that we grew up in, doesn’t exist anymore. Some of us have never had to deal with the issues Gen Z is faced with–while we were blossoming into adulthood. One of those issues is the level of gun violence. Regardless of whether the reader is for or against gun control, young people are anxious about this topic. Just for kicks, I researched how many incidents of gun violence had occurred since my last article. Since April 2023 to today, there were over sixty pages of incidents. Heck, we all should be anxious about leaving our homes. I recently interviewed a few Millennials and Gen Zs. Every one of the people I interviewed, who come from various walks of life, mentioned that the lack of gun control is a source of anxiety for them.
Other issues young people are anxious about is gender bias, climate change, and their mental state. Recently, Time magazine (Duchamre, J., Hammond, R., 2023) wrote an article about the mental state of Gen Zs across the nation. All the students who participated in the interviews revealed that they feel a sense of hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and some of them said they don’t feel safe in school. Imagine thinking about that all day while trying to learn. Kimberlee VanBurch, MSW, LCSW, Psychotherapist, Consultant, and Trainer, approaches Gen Zs treatment gingerly. She stated, “Before considering what therapeutic approaches to use with Gen Z it is most important to meet them where they are. So, building rapport is the first step in creating a therapeutic alliance. The therapeutic alliance is the foundation of successful treatment. Once that is established, I use various therapeutic approaches depending on the youth. I primarily use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Counseling, and Narrative Therapy with Gen Zers.” It is important to acknowledge the state of our youth and learn how to assist them with these issues. Doing so will help them become productive adults.
I will close with a few tips that I hope will help Gen Zs become successful in school, in the workplace and society. Hopefully this love letter will be the tool that they will refer to when looking for guidance. Once, during an interview I noticed that my potential employer had a picture in his cubicle. I asked him if it was a Salvador Dali or Rene Lalique. The employer was so impressed with my knowledge of art, that he offered me a job. Of course, I was qualified for the position, but it helped that I acknowledged his passion. My employer was an artist and very passionate about art but had to trade in his paint brushes for a 9 to 5 job to pay his bills. I worked for another employer who loved golf. Because I took an interest in her passion, she took a liking to me, and I received a raise. What’s the point?
My mother taught me at a young age, “Try to learn something about everything and everything about something” (Huxley, 1902). Little did I know that by following her advice, that advice would help me become employed, improve my socialization skills greatly, and reap benefits. Please keep in mind that the benefits of knowledge don’t always come right away, and you should not expect benefits for being a kind person and taking an interest in others. Remember, at the beginning of this article, I mentioned that people from all generations like to be respected and acknowledged. By taking an interest in the passion of others, we both acknowledge, and respect them. You don’t have to make their passion, yours, just have enough working knowledge to engage others in a conversation.
Here are a few other tips:
- Visit museums and spaces that you wouldn’t normally frequent. When visiting museums read the descriptions of the artwork. When the opportunity presents itself, talk about what you have learned.
- Speak with members of Generation X, Baby Boomers, Silent Generation, and members of the G.I. generation if you are lucky enough to find them (age 90 and above). Ask these folks what life was like when they were growing up. The G.I. generation can give you a wealth of information about what life was like about a century ago. This technique is a great conversation starter, and it teaches you about how human life has evolved. You can’t always find the information they will impart to you, in a book.
- Ask people what kind of music they like to listen to and ask them to play it for you. Ask them why they like that song and/or music. Then ask them if they would like to hear some of your music (hopefully without vulgar language).
- Ask people what movies they like to watch and what they like about the movies. Share yours as well.
- Learn how to speak intelligently in front of audiences (an audience includes one person). One way to do this is to view speeches from respected people in society, (not people who encourage others to do bad things). Our social skills are some of the most important skills we will ever acquire in life. You don’t always have to speak proper English when you are with your cohorts, but it’s good to practice this skill which can open doors for you.
- Read! Read! Read! Reading helps us practice formulating sentences. Reading teaches us to observe punctuation and vocabulary. Once you have mastered reading, write. This is important! Not everyone who hires you will be a Millennial or Gen Z. Reading and writing skills are important to Gen X, Baby Boomers, and the Silent Generation who still work at managerial levels in the workplace. Your school and local librarians are also a resource.
I hope these suggestions work for you. Please email me and share your experiences.
Dr. Robinson specializes in transformational leadership and generational support. She is the host of the talk show Generations and Music. Dr. Robinson has supported parents, educators, business leaders, and youth through various organizations and Generational Genius, LLC. She can be contacted at generationalgenius@gmail.com
Kimberlee VanBurch is a psychotherapist, consultant, and trainer in private practice in New Jersey. She has an affinity for working with both Gen Z and Millennials and can be reached at Kimvanburchlcsw.com
References:
Rideout, V.J., Foehr, U.G., Roberts, D.F., 2010. Generation M2 Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year Olds. Kaiser Family Foundation. Retrieved from: https://www.kff.org/other/report/generation-m2-media-in-the-lives-of-8-to-18-year-olds/
Snelling, G. 2023. Eddie Bauer changed its logo because Gen Z doesn’t read cursive. Fast Company. Retrieved from: https://www.fastcompany.com/90963252/eddie-bauer-new-logo-ditches-script-and-adopts-a-goose
Ducharme, J., Hammond, R. 2023. In Their Own Words. Time.
Huxley, T.H. 1902. Memorial Plaque.